For as terrified as I am of contracting flesh-eating viruses and other communicable diseases, I think it’s weird that I don’t have much in the way of O.C.D. Sure, I have my little quirks, like if I see someone wearing camouflage who is in no way in the correct environment to render said camouflage useful, well then I have to say, “Woah, I almost didn’t see you there,” but it’s not like I fear that if I don’t say it a catastrophic string of events will unfold. Perhaps the man in the blue camo cargo pants waiting in front of me at Borders will get attacked by the very pod of dolphins he was seeking to avoid, but that will in no way be the result of my not having said what I wanted to say to him. That doesn’t really count as O.C.D. and anyway it’s not the good kind – the kind that gets shit clean.
Not so stealth when you’re inland. You weren’t even browsing the oceanography section. What are you doing? It makes no sense! Even the Land Shark can see you. Plus, those don’t appear to be waterproof. Why would anyone want to blend into the sea while on land? Though you do have nice Ryan Seabreast man-whore highlights. I see a ShamWow! infomercial in your future. Perhaps you should talk to your agent. Or at least your stylist.
Leave a Comment
No comments yet.
Comments RSS TrackBack Identifier URI
