It’s Day 3 without TV and I have to admit that it just may be the best thing that’s happened to me since surviving the nudity orgy at the Korean Day Spa a couple of weeks ago. (I know what you’re thinking, “Aren’t most orgies nude?” Well, I don’t know, you sick perverts, I’ve never [...]
Anxiety Activator # 9: My TV. That’s Right, Keep it up, TiVo, and I Will Bitch Slap You to Next Week’s New Episode of Locked up Abroad!
Last night I watched five hour-long episodes of Locked up Abroad on the National Geographic channel before my TiVo committed suicide again. It keeps making these exasperated sounds (like how I imagine the robot from Short Circuit would squeal if someone was trying to murder him) before it freezes and shuts down, leaving me to [...]
Anxiety Alleviator #4: This Week’s Reading Rainbow Selection about a Crazed Taxidermist
Like a cannibal with a penchant for whittling his food, I have a bone to pick. This marrow of misery, this cartilage of contention, is in regards to the fact that only thirty-thousand people have purchased a book that deserves to be read by millions, not thirty-thousand-ands. This book is the finest literary achievement ever to [...]
