Brian has refused to accept that I’ve become Jehovah’s Witness this Christmas and is rather infuriated that I have yet to purchase a single present for anyone in our painfully large families. Apparently I am being commanded to shop tonight – very much against my will. I am pretty sure this violates my first amendment right to temporarily join a new religion that would have neatly masked my lazy and parsimonious take on the holidays.
As for diet advice, this hungry hypochondriac is pleased to inform you that adding horrendous amounts of stress to your life is a surprisingly effective weight loss strategy. Screaming at my laptop for the past seventy-two hours has proven to be a priceless means for forgetting to eat food. I’m pretty sure I will have met my weight loss goals by the time I am carted off to the mental hospital.
At least I have you, sexy Santa. At least I have you.
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Cheers!
This comment made sense before I removed the text with my e-mail address. Sorry, Cliff.