Recap: Full List of Anxiety Alleviators (so far…)

Anxiety Alleviator # 1: Horned Toads that Squirt Blood from their Eyeballs When Angered

Anxiety Alleviator # 2: Discovering the Chuck Norris of the Iguana World 

Anxiety Alleviator # 3: Playing the Cowbell

Anxiety Alleviator #4: This Week’s Reading Rainbow Selection about a Crazed Taxidermist

Anxiety Alleviator # 5: Going Amish as I Say Goodbye to my Beloved TiVo

Anxiety Alleviator # 6: Enforcing Proper Laundromat Etiquette

Anxiety Alleviator # 7: Buying Inappropriate Holiday Gifts for my Family

Anxiety Alleviator #8: Onion Goggles

Anxiety Alleviator #9: Unicorns

Anxiety Alleviator #10: Sheriff John Burnell’s Disproportionate Amounts of Rage 

Anxiety Alleviator #11: Cloris Leachman’s Cleavage

Anxiety Alleviator #12: This Photo of a Sloth in a Box

Anxiety Alleviator #13: The Best Non-Ambien-Induced Hibernation that I’ve Experienced in Fortnights

Anxiety Alleviator # 14: Imagining How the Debut Season of America’s Next Top Hand Model Would Play Out

Anxiety Alleviator #15: Feeling Intellectually Superior to Bill Nye

Anxiety Alleviator #16: A CBS Reality TV Spin Off Called Little Brother: All Midgets, All the Time

Anxiety Alleviator #17: The Urban Remake of Twins in which Mr. T Bathes Gary Coleman in Baby Tub

Anxiety Alleviator #18: Making a Plan for the Holidays

Anxiety Alleviator #19: The Brother from Another Planet, My Movie Pick of the Week

5 Comments

  1. Not a good balance, wouldn’t you say? It explains a lot, though.

  2. Yes. Yes, it does explain a lot. I’ll work on my positive thinking, Sigmund. Even now, as we speak, I am enjoying a delicious Funfetti cupcake – just mashing it in my piehole, my Funfettihole, just enjoying it. Maybe I’ll write about how much binge eating eases my overwhelming feelings of distress. Would you like that, Sig?

  3. Well I have to say that I highly agree with you regarding unicorns. Writing about them not only alleviates anxiety, but I also heard that when you’re on a certain, err, herbal substance, they actually manifest physically. Or so says “Harold & Kumar”. =P

  4. Hmmm, I wouldn’t know anything about that;)

  5. your chin strap story was SO funny! i am laughing so loud the poor elkhound had to get up and move away. i am sure he will start the backwards walking again from my silliness.
    love the mothership


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