More quotes from actual car insurance collision reports: “I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.” “I pulled in to a rest area with smoke coming from under the hood. I realized the car was on fire, so took my dog and smothered it with [...]
Anxiety Alleviator #13: The Best Non-Ambien-Induced Hibernation that I’ve Experienced in Fortnights
Last night I completed some of the best non-Ambien-induced hibernation that I’ve experienced in fortnights; which is why I almost didn’t click on the link to the following article on MSN’s homepage today: 10 Ways to Go from Tired to Terrific – Expert strategies to regain your mojo. Thank God I did, though. Now, when [...]
Anxiety Activator #30: Fabio’s Official Online Fan Club, that is Now Promoting Cannibalism because Apparently Having an Online Fan Club for Fabio Wasn’t Creepy Enough on its Own
Earlier today, while I was checking out Fabio’s official online fan club (yes, that IS what I like to do in my spare time) I came across some very disturbing images wherein Fabio appeared to be promoting cannibalism. At the top of the Web page was a header splashed with close up shots of [...]
Anxiety Activator #29: The Three-Eyed Man Quoted in an Actual Car Insurance Claim
This one comes from an actual car insurance claim. “The accident happened because I had one eye on the truck in front, one eye on the pedestrian and the other on the car behind.” Um, yeah, officer. I saw the man who hit me. Though not nearly as well as he saw me. He was [...]
Anxiety Alleviator #12: This Photo of a Sloth in a Box
A sloth can move twice as fast in water as it can on land. Perhaps I should start writing while half-submerged in my bathtub. I just read that Beethoven poured ice water on his head every time he sat down to write music. If I happen to turn up dead, the coroner’s report mentioning electrocution by [...]
Anxiety Activator #28: Fortune Cookies
Monday night was our seven year wedding anniversary (yes, I did get married when I was still a fetus; no, I’m not a Mormon; and nay, I was not a child “with child” at the time of our vows). We made the mistake of celebrating our codependence at a Chinese food restaurant, which I understand [...]
Anxiety Activator #27: Working at Starbucks
Because I’ve been so busy attempting to finish my book lately (and by that I mean going to hot yoga then dragging my sweaty ass home to sleep all day) I’ve had less time to work on the blogs. Really, though? I’ve been trying. Realizing that I’ve been lagging more than usual, I decided there was [...]
