ANXIETY HELL

This one comes from an actual car insurance claim.

“The accident happened because I had one eye on the truck in front, one eye on the pedestrian and the other on the car behind.”

Um, yeah, officer. I saw the man who hit me. Though not nearly as well as he saw me. He was Pacific Islander, mustachioed, had dark hair, oh, and THREE EYES!

It’s always the damn multitasking Triclopses. Every time! I swear I’m going to start riding the bus.