ANXIETY HELL

More quotes from actual car insurance collision reports: 

“I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.” 

“I pulled in to a rest area with smoke coming from under the hood. I realized the car was on fire, so took my dog and smothered it with a blanket.” 

“When I saw I could not avoid a collision, I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car.” 

Ever since Bill discovered steroids he's been finding more and more creative ways to build muscle.

In another few years he'll be ready to take up major league baseball.

For now, however, he's enjoying working on getting the Car Shot Put event recognized by the 2012 Olympic committee.