Anxiety Activator #33: That No One Else Seems to Care about How Mr. Butterworth Feels

I’m eating pancakes and feeling guilty after peeling Mrs. Butterworth’s label off. I wonder if Mr. Butterworth knows his wife doesn’t wear panties, the dirty whore.

I'd hate to watch you exit a limo, you freaky Britney Spears wannabe!

I'd hate to watch you exit a limo, you nasty Britney Spears wannabe! At least you had a smooth wax job...thanks to me.

I'll never be able to look at you the same way, Mrs. Butterworth!<br> Syrup: Part of this disturbing breakfast.

I'll never be able to look at you the same way, Mrs. Butterworth!Syrup: Part of this disturbing breakfast.

I’ll bet Aunt Jemima’s doesn’t go around town without underwear on. Then again, I’d bet money that Uncle Jemima likes it kinky. Uncles.

Normally, you'd be the one doling out advice, seeing as how I'm your niece, but I want you to know there are hotlines you can call if Uncle gets out the ball gag again, though I'm not sure they'll understand what your saying.