Absolutely disgusting. So wrong on so many levels, God. Nice work forgetting all of their LIMBS! How are they supposed to commit suicide now?
Nothing creeps me out more than these tiny floating testaments to Satan’s existence. They are prehistoric, and creepy, and amputated of all their hooves. I do not approve of their little curled up stump, their little unileg, their sick miniature merman tail. It’s disgusting and begs so many disgusting questions. How do they bone? How do they urinate? You know they’re taking in a lot of water, what with being all seafaring and waterlogged and whatnot.
Seahorses should have gone extinct millions of years ago and if God had a suggestion box in the sky I would inform him as such. Unfortunately, The Lord continues to refuse to take action on my complaints (you know what I’m referring to Holy One – don’t pretend “menstruation” doesn’t ring a bell), yet I hereby request that if you’re listening, Sweet Fetus Jesus, please do something about the ocean’s seahorse infestation. Until then I refuse to go to church. Or the doctor’s office with the disgusting aquarium set up. Or the beach. Or Sea World. Or the bathtub. Amen.
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