My turn, please.
Actual e-mail. Actual pain.
From: Me
Date: September 17, 2009 12:15 PM
To: Satan’s Construction Management
Subject: Coastal Access Impr
Hi Patrick.
I’m a local resident who has the incredible luck of living on Censored Street and also working from home. I understand you are just doing your job and I, too, would just like to be able to do mine — preferably without my office chair vibrating from your construction crew’s laudable attempts to break the sound barrier. They seem to be coming quite close, though not nearly as close as they’re coming to rendering everyone within a 500 mile radius completely deaf and batsh*t crazy from the prolonged effects of suffering from Noise Intolerance Disorder. But I digress.
Can you please shoot me an email in regard to how much longer the jackhammering is going to continue? What is the estimated date of completion for this project? Where is Van Gogh when I need him to slice off my ear? Thank you for your time.
Sincerely,
Contemplating Suicide in Censored Location
1 Comment(s)
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Ha ha. Figured it out.
Can you write all my complaint letters for me?
You’re friggin’ awesome, NicOOOOOOle.
hhs