I cannot WAIT to sit down at the table and look my grandparents in their faces while I hold up my Tofurky in both hands like an offering. Then, when they refuse to partake, I will violently decapitate my dinner with the teeth guillotine known as my mouth. They’ll gasp, but I’ll just keep chewing the tofu waddle all slow-like while maintaining eye contact. I don’t know who’s going to win the staring contest, but I doubt it’ll be the Tofurky.
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