Anxiety Activator #60: Miss Cleo’s Weapon-Filled Turbanry

Finally my horoscope is wrong for once. I swear, it was really starting to freak me out. Though I don’t know what’s worse, when it’s so accurate every day that I swear Miss Cleo is perched in a tree outside my window with a monocular or when the only thing canceling out her prediction of my quiet and harmonious day is the barrage of jackhammer solos raping my ear drums for the second week in a row. I guess option #1 is worse since she’d probably use her psychic powers to get an injunction on my restraining order. Plus, she looks like she could kill me with razor blades stashed in her turban. AND she’d know exactly where to cut me for optimum blood loss. It pretty much blows how psychics always have the advantage in hand-to-hand combat.