Did I brush my teeth? Damn it, I can’t remember. OK, think harder. Yes. Yes, I recall flossing, but then I also recall getting distracted by the scent of an onion patch exploding from my right armpit. I think I went to apply more Secret clinical-strength carcinogen-fresh antiperspirant. Then I may have gotten caught up in [...]
Frequently Asked Question #5: In Regard to the Side Effects of my Copious Ambien Consumption…
What in the hell must the neighbors think? Ambien. It is the most popular prescription sleep aid in the nation, and why shouldn’t it be? I say. My love affair with Ambien has been thriving for nearly a decade. Sure, we’ve separated more than once when I’ve gone through a silly, little phase I refer [...]
Frequently Asked Question #4: In Regard to Movies that Make my Head Feel Like it’s Going to Explode/My Husband’s Netflix Queue
Another Rambo movie? Really?
Frequently Asked Question #3: In Regard to Tampax and the Holy Father…
Are you there God? It’s me, Margaret.
Frequently Asked Question #2: In Regard to Food-Like Substances…
When can I expect the McRib to return?
