I cannot WAIT to sit down at the table and look my grandparents in their faces while I hold up my Tofurky in both hands like an offering. Then, when they refuse to partake, I will violently decapitate my dinner with the teeth guillotine known as my mouth. They’ll gasp, but I’ll just keep chewing [...]
November 26, 2009
Categories: Anxiety Alleviators, Diet, Health and Fitness . . Author: anxietyhell . Comments: Leave a Comment
As anyone who knows me well can attest, I have no greater phobia in life than that of losing either one or two of my eyes. I spend a lot of time gasping, cringing, and breaking out in hives over imagining freak skull socket gouging accidents. Typically, my screaming internal monologue on the perils of [...]
November 2, 2009
Categories: An insidious one way ticket to Cyclopsville in a bottle, Anxiety Activators, Health and Fitness, Stuff & Things . . Author: anxietyhell . Comments: Leave a Comment
Some time late last year, I found myself chugging upwards of half a gallon of eggnog per night, as I found it a pleasant palette cleanser between boxes of See’s chocolates. Worries of salmonella and starring in a televised addiction intervention could not dissuade me from pouring the thick god nectar down my pie hole [...]
August 23, 2009
Categories: Anxiety Alleviators, Diet, Health and Fitness, I’m not Lazy - Just Storing Potential Energy, Most Popular . . Author: anxietyhell . Comments: 2 Comments
Yesterday was one of those anomalous days wherein the elusive concept of productivity sounded like a fun way to spice up my quotidian routine. (Read: I may have accidentally ingested a tall boy of Monster, a mug of coffee, and upwards of one niblit off an Adderall pill.) My day went well enough. [...]
April 30, 2009
Categories: Anxiety Activators, Health and Fitness, Most Popular, Uncategorized . . Author: anxietyhell . Comments: 2 Comments
