First, you gave me Broken Bells. Then Fanfarlo and next Tokyo Police Club. And now? We Were Promised Jetpacks?! You complete me and sh*t, Pandora. Unlike Netflix with its smug conviction that I’ll just looove “Kung Fu: Enter the Fist” (disgusting — I don’t even want to know) and the full season of “Canterbury’s Law” [...]
Anxiety Activator #57: The Government’s Terrorist Watch List
I understand not all suspects on the government’s Watch List can be upgraded to the No Fly List without cause, but if one’s name appears on the Terrorist Watch List, that should earn both the listed passenger and his underwear an automatic upgrade to the Officer Jelly Finger List. A little probing goes a long way.
Anxiety Activator #52: Sporks
Every time I see you, spork, all I can imagine is the day you were a spoon and had a horrific run-in with a pair of pinking shears that were like, “Get back here, spoon. I’m giving you a bris!” Then I can barely even stomach my KFC mashed potatoes. It totally doesn’t [...]
